In The Beginning
by Emilie Rene
Summary: It's Wilson's first day at Princeton Plainsboro, and House is planning to make it as miserable for the newbie as he possibly can, but will plans go astray? HouseWilson slash. Rated T for some language and for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the characters in this story, I just use them to play out the weird fantasies in my head. D:

**A/N**: This fic is preseason 1, and preinfarction - before the House series started and before House's leg problem. Way before. Also, this is my first fanfic, so please be nice, and give me as much feedback as possible, even if you think this story completely sucks. Any advice/criticism is more than welcome.

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House spotted the new resident from across the clinic. There was no mistake. He had walked into the clinic and was apparently looking for Cuddy's office, since that's what he had inquired about to the last three nurses he had passed, even though they had all pointed in the same direction. He was invariably headed that way, but it was taking him a while to get there, because even though that was definitely the direction to the office, he could never be too sure, and so every time he passed someone who looked like they might be employed by the hospital, (and House snickered as he saw the intern shyly asked someone, albeit dressed in a long white coat, who turned out to be a patient) where Dr. Cuddy's office might be located. So ... after three doctors, five nurses, and a disgruntled patient, this frightened new duckling made it to the double doors that presided over the front of Cuddy's dungeon. At least, that's how they seemed to House, and he figured that this new guy probably felt that way too by the way he looked at them in fear and hesitation. House watched the guy just stand there for a few minutes, not knowing what to do with himself, and decided maybe he should "help" the guy out. 

House snuck up behind his first unsuspecting victim of the morning, "Excuse me, are you the new resident?" he asked innocently. The man jumped out of his skin, 'and possibly wet himself as well,' mused House with a tiny, almost unnoticeable grin starting to form.

"Yes, I am." replied the resident once he had calmed himself down a bit. "Are you Dr. Cuddy, by any chance?"

'He doesn't even know what Cuddy looks like?' House thought to himself, 'Or that Cuddy's female? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity I just can't afford to miss!' He checked to see if Cuddy was in her office or any where in sight or within ear shot of their conversation before he began his fun.

"Why, yes, I'm Dr. Cuddy. And you must be ... I'm sorry, I must've forgotten your name from your application. It was a very good application, by the way, very strong."

"Oh, yes, sorry. I should've introduced myself." The resident replied ('and with manners too?' House thought), "My name is James Wilson, Sir."

"Very good, then, umm ... Wilson. Please step into my office." Oh how House loved that phrase - so cliché, yet so satisfying just the same.

"Thank you, Sir." Wilson replied as he went through the open door House was holding open for him. He waited for House to enter the room behind him, then hesitantly stood by the door while House walked naturally around the room to seat himself in Cuddy's surprisingly comfortable chair and had to resist the urge to prop his feet up on her huge desk.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Sit down, sit down. We've got lots to cover before we can start off your first day here at Princeton Plainsboro." He booted up Cuddy's computer, waited for the log-in screen, and confidently typed in the password he always knew would work. 'Silly Cuddy... you think you'd change your password from "partypants" someday, but you never do. Lucky me.' House chuckled to himself. Once everything had finished opening up and the computer had quit processing and whirring menacingly at House, or perhaps just towards the room at large, he looked up in the employee database for this new 'Resident Wilson'. He was extremely surprised at Wilson's school history and medical experience. "So, you're interested in Oncology, huh?"

"That's right. Yes, Sir." Wilson replied.

"Would you mind sharing what makes it so interesting for you? Is it the threat of inevitable doom for the patients that excites you, or is it that those little bald kids are just too darn cute for words?"

House chuckled inwardly as he watched the new resident struggle with the question that he was obviously taking seriously. He watched the kid's mind seem to be turning its wheels as fast as it could to come up with an acceptable answer that would try to make him look good in front of who he thought was his new boss. 'Boy-Wonder Oncologist', House thought as he looked at the kid's records; it was quite impressive stuff, actually. Top of his class; never had to be reprimanded or relocated even once. He had only transferred here because the hospital he had been working at had been caught on fire and was going to be closed for at least a few months - especially the last few months that Wilson would have to spend as a resident before he became a full-fledged M.D. House pulled himself away from the computer screen and continued to watch his new puppet try to work things out. When he finally seemed to be about to say something to break the awkward silence, House interrupted him.

"Aw, come on. Don't be so tough on yourself; it was only a joke. If you're going to be taking everything that everyone says around here that seriously, then you're going to have a real problem my friend. You're the new guy, and everyone is definitely going to be out to get you." House stated matter-of-factly.

"Are you sure? ... uh-Sir." Wilson wondered innocently.

"Of course. You're the fresh meat around here, kiddo, and everyone's going to want a bite. People are going to be poking fun at you right and left, so you better watch yourself, or you and your pretty little head full of shiny, moussed-up hair are going to be in for some bad and miserable times. You have to learn how to joke along with them, and make them feel like you're worth accepting into the club." The kid seemed to be listening intently to every piece of bullshit advice that House was giving him. 'Oh, this is going to be more fun than I thought - and I'm just getting started...' House mused to himself. "So how do you like our facili--"

"HOUSE!!" raged and extremely angered, and definitely PMS-ing Cuddy as she walked into her office to see him playing with her new resident.

"Oh, Dr. Cuddy, what a pleasant surprise," grinned House. "So nice of you to stop by. Well, I was giving Wilson here a little pep talk before he started out his first day, but since you seem so eager to spend some quality time with him, I think I'll let you wrap things up here." He stood up swiftly and walked over to a befuddled Wilson. The oncologist just sat in his chair, not knowing what to do, while House shook his hand. "It was very nice meeting you, Wilson. I had been rather looking forward to giving you a tour of the place, but I suppose that's not going to happen today. I hope we can have another playdate some time soon." He seemed to become even more confused, if that was possible, when House winked at him just before letting go of his hand and then walking off.

"Now just a minute House. Don't think you're just going to leave me here with this poor young man and make me deal with the problems you caused." Dr. Cuddy jectured at House as she placed herself between him and his way out.

"Problems? What problems?" House asked, turning his head and looking around the room. "I see no problems here."

"Well, I suppose that's expected, seeing as how YOU would be the biggest problem in the hospital right now." Cuddy countered.

House was about to make a witty remark of some kind, when Wilson finally seemed to figure out what was going on. "Wai-wa-wait, so ... you're not Dr. Cuddy?" Wilson asked, pointing at House.

"No," answered the real Cuddy. "This ... this is Dr. House. I'm Dr. Cuddy." She walked over to where Wilson still sat, even more confused than before, and she shook his hand. "I'm sorry about this whole incident. I was late coming to work this morning, and I guess House decided to misbehave while I was gone. I would be thankful if you just forget everything he told you, because most of it's probably not true, and the rest was just poking fun at you. I really am sorry about all this."

"Good God, Cuddy! You've just barely met this guy, and you're already overcompensating for guilt? And he's just a resident! How are you going to be able to handle new department heads, or nurses, or even a new intern, for Christ's sake! Do you plan on sleeping with everyone in the building?" House said all this with as much flare as he could, his escape plan completely forgotten as he found a way to still mess with the new resident's head, and now possibly Cuddy's as well. Two for the price of one was a bargain he could not pass up, especially when the day was still young and he had a full tank of sarcasm just waiting to be released.

Cuddy shot him another one of her priceless glares. "House, this is not the time or the pla-"

"You alwa-"

"Not finished! This is not the time or the place to be ridiculing me or trying to make me look bad in front of a new resident. I would much appreciate it if you would just apologize to this young man, because I know you're certainly not going to apologize to me."

"Well, at least you're experienced enough not to expect a sorry from me. That's one thing. You do need some work, though, because you should know that I don't apologize to anyone, especially not the new guys or the lowly residents, and this one here just happens to qualify for both parties, so that's definitely not going to happen." House retorted.

"Whatever," Cuddy sighed, "just get out of my office and go take care of some patients. You've got two extra clinic hours this week."

"Harsh toke, dude.," was all House had to say in reply as he sauntered out of the office, to who knows where.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters in this story, I just use them to play out the weird fantasies in my head. D:

**A/N:** This fic is preseason 1, and preinfarction - before the House series started and before House's leg problem. Way before.

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**The story thus far:  
**Wilson came to PPTH, giving House some one new to torture, but Cuddy spoiled his fun, so he slinked off to nap instead. A perfectly good alternative. ;)

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­­Twenty minutes later, House was awakened by a highly annoying beeper that had somehow attached itself to his belt loop. He attempted to fall back asleep by throwing the blasted thing across the room and rolling over in his lounge chair, but the menacing beeper would not stop its call. House finally gave up and retrieved the source of annoyance, looking at the message screen on the beeper: Cuddy. What had he done now? He wasn't especially looking forward to finding out. He stretched and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes rather dramatically, as though he had a captive audience, then moved as slowly as he possibly could from his office on the third floor to Cuddy's office on the first floor. 

When he finally made it to those ever-familiar double doors, he saw that the new resident - what was his name again? Oh yeah, Wilson - was still seated inside. 'Oh crap', thought House, 'she's going to make me spend time with this kid or apologize to him or something.' He was still going to milk this for all it was worth; he didn't care if he got himself deeper into the hole he was constantly digging, he just couldn't pass up a chance to make Cuddy miserable.

"Well, I could be doing other, more necessary things, such as that all-important REM I was performing when you made that urgent page, but please, do tell, what ever did you need me for, Dr. Cuddy?" House asked as he came bursting into the room, attempting to look as "all-important" as his REM cycle that had just been so rudely interrupted.

"You were sleeping?" asked a befuddled Cuddy, "What about your clinic hours?"

"Finished!" House boasted.

"Excuse me?"

"What? You don't think that's possible?"

I just gave you two extra clinic hours ..." Cuddy checked her watch, "thirty-four minutes ago. And I highly doubt that you have actually covered your regular hours this week, since it's only ten in the morning on a Monday. So, there is just no way you could possibly be finished already, and have the time to be sleeping."

"Oh please, I could totally be done with my hours already."

"And how is that?"

"I would tell you, but then certain nurses might get fired for performing sexual favors in the workplace."

"You're an ass, House."

Even though Cuddy told House he was an ass at least three times a week, House pretended to be shocked. "I must say, Dr. Cuddy, I know interpersonal relationships are not your strong suit ... but _this_? This is the last straw. That was possibly - no, _probably_ - the most insulting thing you have ever said to me, about me, or in my presence."

"Oh. I thought I was just being frank."

"Well, on the topic of being frank, I'll let you in on a little secret. Your rack is much bigger than mine, I'll admit. But I've got to tell you, I definitely have a better ass than you." House interjected.

Wilson looked confusedly back and forth between House and Cuddy as they ranted on at each other, with Cuddy blabbering logical nonsense about how House needed better work ethics and more self control, and House throwing random remarks in about how Cuddy need to button her shirts all the way and how she needed to stop borrowing skirts from her hooker neighbor. As usual, this went on for some time.

"I'm just saying," Cuddy argued exasperatedly, "that if you just tried the tiniest bit to possibly act like a normal human being, instead of a complete ass, you wouldn't have half the problems you have now. People might actually want to be around you – might even like you."

"Now now, who needs companionship when I can have all the free self-supplied sarcasm and witty banter that I please?" House countered, "Besides, if I ever did have a friend, what would we do? Crossword puzzles and Sudoku are kind of one person games. And you know I don't play well with others."

By now, Wilson was giving up on being confused, and just decided that this was either a show for his entertainment, or just really didn't give a rat's ass anymore, because he was having a lot of trouble stifling his giggles, and he giggled like a sixth-grade girl, which was surprisingly fitting for him, or so House thought.

'If we keep this up much longer, that kid might be on the floor ...' House mused. 'I might as well just let this one go.'

"Fine." He said to Cuddy. "What's this super important project you felt you had to impose on me, then?"

Cuddy looked surprised that House had given up so suddenly, then reveled in her victory for a moment. "I need you to do me a special favor. I figured you wouldn't mind, since you seem to have become so friendly with Dr. Wilson in the short time that he's been here ..." House rolled his eyes rather obviously. "I'd like you to give him a tour of the hospital for me."

At this, House could do nothing but give the largest and most pathetic sigh that he possibly could. He considered cracking some other kind of joke at Cuddy, but then reconsidered, because she seemed to be in a really pissy mood. Maybe she was PMS-ing more than usual? In any case, House decided to take his punishment without fuss or retaliation, which actually was probably a better comeback to his boss than anything else, because it was the one thing she wasn't expecting.

"Come on kiddo, let's go." He motioned to the new Oncologist who had just barely finished successfully stifling his laughter. They left Cuddy's office and started their "tour". House just kind of walked up and down the halls with Dr. Wilson trailing behind him, looking (and sometimes gawking) at the people and places of the hospital. After a while Wilson decided to take the lead and it was House who was trailing behind. At first, House was bored by the thought of having to show this kid around, but then a rather brilliant idea struck him.

"I suppose I should give you an actual tour, huh?" House asked, realizing how he could use this to his advantage. "This is a pretty large hospital, so it might take all morning, and then if you behave I might just buy you lunch." House winked at the kid again, hoping to throw him off. Though he was still unprepared for it, it didn't seem to come at as much of a shock as it had the first time.

"Alright, that sounds good to me." Wilson replied.

And so the tour began...

House and Wilson ventured up each and every hall in the hospital, and looked into every office, patient room (occupied or otherwise), restroom, and janitorial closet that House could possibly find.

After a while, Wilson had somewhat figured out the pattern of the building. House suspected that Wilson could tell they were venturing down hallways that they'd already visited, but he didn't say anything for a while. Then after about the 5th repeated corridor, he asked "This looks familiar, have we been down this way before?"

House sighed, "Ya know ... I'm not entirely sure _where_ we are. We should probably look for the elevator, I guess."

Wilson gave him a look that said 'How the hell could you get lost? Don't you work here?' Although all he said was, "Yeah, I think that's a good idea."

They walked around a few minutes more. House was pretending to be lost, and Wilson was actually lost, and following a House that was pretending to be lost, which is never really a good idea.

"You know what we should do?" House asked. Wilson was just about to ask what they should do when he got cut off. "We should play a game. Whoever finds the elevator first wins; loser has to buy lunch. How about it?" House looked over at this new resident and winked once again. 'Why do I keep winking at this kid?' He wondered.

Wilson, however, was not questioning the wink at all. In fact, he winked right back and replied,

"Oh, you're on."

"Oh really?" House was surprised that he had received a return wink, but he wasn't going to let this new guy know that he had thrown him off so easily. Usually when House winked at people the last thing he expected was for them to wink back at him. They might sigh or shudder in disgust, perhaps even yell or throw something at him, but definitely not wink back. What was with this guy? Was he really just as laid back as he seemed, or was he just being overly cool because he was nervous? It was still his first day, after all.

House almost felt sorry for the boy (almost). He had been working at this hospital for the last six years. Did this kid honestly think he could find the elevator first? Maybe he was just being a good sport and going along with it. Either way, House found the elevator almost immediately, after pretending to be lost for a few minutes to throw Wilson off the trail. He donned his usual uninterested nonchalance as he leaned against the wall next to the elevator door and awaited the other doctor's arrival. So now Wilson owed him lunch? This day just kept getting better ...

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_Sorry that the conversation between House and Cuddy was so … random. ____ I had some trouble coming up with an original argument for them to have. I think it needs some work, so if you've got something better that I can put in there, feel free to share. That's all I could come up with._


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the wait! I had a bit of writer's block. :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters in this story, I just use them to play out the weird fantasies in my head. D:

**A/N:** This fic is preseason 1, and preinfarction - before the House series started and before House's leg problem. Way before.

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Over a free Wilson-paid lunch, House discovered that this new resident really was just as "cool as a cucumber" as he pretended to be. He was amazed at this new-comer's suave and smoothness. Everything about him was just so well placed and put together. House couldn't help but stare at the Boy Wonder Oncologist as he carefully ate his food, without dropping so much as a crumb. That is, until he noticed he was staring. House didn't want to make Wilson think that he liked him any more than was necessary. Although, there was something about the way he smiled with a slight chuckle whenever House told him a joke. And the way his eyes twinkled so brightly against the harsh tones of the hospital cafeteria was just so … exhilarating. Before he knew what was going on, House heard himself sigh.

"Are you alright?" Wilson asked, actually looking genuinely concerned, much to House's delight (although House wasn't quite sure why).

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired is all." House replied, and feigned a yawn, hoping that would lead Wilson off the trail.

"Oh yeah, Cuddy did wake you up when she paged you, didn't she?" remembered Wilson, "Sorry about that."

'Why is he apologizing? It's not his fault. Ah, that's just too sweet! I can't take it,' thought House. He needed to think of something witty or sarcastic to counter the overwhelming kindness at the table, but no matter how hard he thought, the only thing that came out was "So, how's your sandwich? Any good?" 'Damnit. Why am I asking him about his sandwich?' House wondered. 'Why do I even care?'

"It's pretty good for cafeteria food, I suppose. How's yours? You got … a Reuben, right?"

'He even remembers what I ordered? What's up with this guy?' "What's it to you?" is what House wanted to reply, but he simply said "Yeah, a Reuben. It's not bad." and then proceeded to gulf down the last few bites of his favorite sandwich. He spotted Wilson's mostly untouched bag of cafeteria chips. This was his last chance at salvation. He needed to be an ass somehow.

"Hey! I was going to eat those!" Wilson cried as House snatched his bag of chips. He made a grab for them, but was unable to match House's lightning-speed food-stealing skills. He watched with a slight pout on his face as House simply shrugged and then ate all of his chips, one by one.

House couldn't stop the slight grin that formed when he saw the pout on Wilson's face. 'It's such a cute pout. How could a grown man have such a cute pout?' House thought to himself. He almost considered sharing the chips with Wilson, but then decided against it. If he did that, it would almost completely cancel out the rudeness of stealing the chips in the first place, and we couldn't have _that_, not could we?

And so the two finished lunch in silence. House ate Wilson's chips, and Wilson nibbled on his sandwich, still pouting. When they were done eating, House got up and started walking away, leaving his trash at the table just like he always did. Expecting Wilson to continue to trail him like a puppy, he turned around to glance at him, but was surprised to find him still at the table. Wilson was gathering not only his own lunch tray, but House's as well, and proceeded to carry them both over to the trash bins in the corner and stack the trays with all the others in the pile.

'Alright. If this kid is going to buy me lunch, let me steal his food, _and_ take my trash for me, then I am definitely eating lunch with him more often,' thought House. 'Now I just need to find something else for us to do so I don't have to get started on that clinic duty just yet. …… I wonder how gullible he really is?' A mischievous grin formed over his face as he called to the Oncologist, "Hey Jimmy! Come with me. I need your help with something."

A few minutes later, they found themselves in the Diagnostic Conference Room surrounded by piles of paperwork. House had once again conned Wilson in to doing something for him, and this time he was quite proud of himself for it. Wilson was currently going through all of House's clinic patient files from the last six months, making notations and other various doctorly comments. All House had to do was sign them and throw them into the increasingly growing pile on the floor.

Normally House would have been napping and not paying any attention to the kid whatsoever, but he had actually found that he become rather fond of him, despite the fact that he's only known him for one day. 'I have to do something besides just stare at this kid. It's not good for my rep.' However, House could not look away. Even when Wilson looked up from his work, House would just stare, and their eyes would meet momentarily. House expected something awkward to happen, but Wilson would just smile kindly and politely and return his focus to the files in front of him. Every once in a while, when Wilson passed a paper to House that needed to be signed, they're hands would brush, and House could feel a warm sensation inside of him, almost a burning, just for an instant. He sweated and his breathe caught in his throat. Then, when the hands moved away, the feeling would disappear just as quickly as it had come on.

'Why am I feeling this way?! I've never felt like this before. What's going on?' House wondered in complete bewilderment. He didn't know what to do with himself, so he just kept staring at Wilson. Staring, and staring, and staring, and stari ….

"Umm … Dr. House?"

"Hmm?"

"Uhh … You're hand is umm … on my hand." House looked towards his hand, and it was, in fact, placed gently on top of Wilson's. 'How did that get there? I don't remember doing that.' was House's first reaction. Then the thought of "Oh, shit. I have to cover this some how… but how?'

"Oh, so it is," replied House. 'Why did I say that? That's so lame!' He mentally slapped himself.

Wilson didn't seem to know what else to say, which was good, because House did not trust his vocal cords to reply with what his brain wanted him to say. In fact, his brain seemed like a totally different apparatus at the moment, completely detached from the rest of his body.

Then he snapped back in to place. The mischievous grin returned once more.

House slowly moved his hand down Wilson's, then clasped it, fingers interlocking. Wilson looked somewhat confused, but said nothing. House leaned over the table towards Wilson, and since Wilson had not moved from the position he had been in before (from bending over files), his face was almost over the middle of the table, close enough to reach. Luckily for House, Wilson's shock and uncertainty made him unable to move, and House went in for the kill.

Before either of them knew what was happening, their lips met. House was delighted by the fact that Wilson's lips were just as soft as they looked. House kissed Wilson with as much fervor as you can put into a kiss without using any tongue. He didn't think Wilson could handle that just yet. He expected Wilson to move away, or smack him, or _something_, but Wilson simply sat there, immobile, and made absolutely no response even as House pulled away. When House opened his eyes to see Wilson's reaction, he saw the younger man completely puzzled. He seemed to try to speak, but simply opened his mouth, and then shut it again.

"Excuse me. I have to pee." House said, and then stood up and walked out of the room, leaving a confused and befuddled Wilson behind.

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I am sooo sorry for the cliffhanger. Please don't hurt me! Also, I want to note that I did give you guys some action, as requested. Even if it was just a kiss. 


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